BREAKING NEWS: Angry Protesters Beat Dead Horse in the “Red Stick”

the_avacado3On June 28th 2014, the eighth annual Baton Rouge Gay Pride Festival was completely undisturbed by the literally ones of disgruntled protestors who gathered outside the Belle of Baton Rouge Casino and Atrium.

The demonstrators were reported to inquire with minimal fervor “What does God have to say?” following up with desperately recycled assertions that equality equals sins for which sodomites must pay. Similar sentiments were displayed on large white signs by large white men, who were apparently inflicted by an “itis” or “food geloppi” that rendered them too impaired to picket at a relevant pitch.

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Alternately, inside the air-conditioned atrium, hundreds of LGBTQ citizens and their allies celebrated with community activist awards, alongside performances by Daphne MuShatt, The Shiz, female impersonators like the Austin Baptist Women, and artists like Princess Kutt, who allegedly “be Kuttin’ it.”