Category THE AVOCADO

In an effort to be nominated for a nomination in the 57th GRAMMY Awards, NOLA based indie band The Shiz found itself with so many entries in its selected categories that it is the only band on the ballot who’s songs are so relevant that it will essentially end up defeating itself.

It also doesn’t help that they waited until one day before voters were asked to mail in their ballots to release their nomination nominations.

Here’s the official list:

GENERNAL FIELD
Record of the Year
The Shiz, Tumble

Best New Artist
The Shiz

FIELD 4 – ROCK
Best Rock Performance
The Rapture

Best Rock Song
Juggernaut, Elizabeth Hogan, songwriter (The Shiz)

Best Rock Album
Meet You in the Morning – The Shiz

AMERICAN ROOTS MUSIC
Best American Roots Performance
Driftin’ – The Shiz
New Jim Crow – The Shiz
Sleep B...

On June 28th 2014, the eighth annual Baton Rouge Gay Pride Festival was completely undisturbed by the literally ones of disgruntled protestors who gathered outside the Belle of Baton Rouge Casino and Atrium.

The demonstrators were reported to inquire with minimal fervor “What does God have to say?” following up with desperately recycled assertions that equality equals sins for which sodomites must pay. Similar sentiments were displayed on large white signs by large white men, who were apparently inflicted by an “itis” or “food geloppi” that rendered them too impaired to picket at a relevant pitch.

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Alternately, inside the air-conditioned atrium, hundreds of LGBTQ citizens and their allies celebrated with community activist awards, alongside performances by Daphne MuShatt, The ...

After years of pre-production, a year in production, months of self-doubt, exuberance, elation, self-criticsm, deep retreat, existential crisis, spiritual ascension, life coaching, binge drinking, self-annihilation, total lack of drive/general apathy, self pity, self-congratulatory ego stroking, myriad other questionable indulgences and literally tens of minutes of deliberation, The Shiz has officially declared its latest release “Meet You in the Morning” a national treasure.

In other news, so did every other band you may or may not have heard of.

In full megalomaniacal rock-star rebellion, New Orleans folk-rock and soul band The Shiz marks its epically lackluster 5 year run with a revolutionarily ineffective business model that guffaws in the face of the music industry apocalypse.

Band manager Lilli Lewis, the genius behind the new model says “given the state of the industry, I thought it best to bring the disaster of the internet driven free-for-all to the live music venue, by denying the current compensation model for original bands in New Orleans, which generally involves being paid a percentage of the bar tab.” This means the bands are compensated based on how completely trashed their audiences get, which in the Crescent City, has no known limits...